ASK A BITTERMAN IS MOVING TO THESTOOLS.COM

Here are just a couple of tips on what to look out for so you don't buy bogus Patriots Superbowl merchandise.

All official NFL merchandise has the NFL hologram on it. Bogus merchandise doesn't have the hologram --- but the vender will sell you a gram, if you give him the high sign.
Often times, in a rush to get bogus merchandise on the street, "NFL" will be miss-spelled. Instead of the Patriot's flame-head logo you'll find the Corn Flakes rooster. So keep your eyes peeled.
Be wary of anything where the name "Rams" is scratched out and the word Pats is scribbled over it in crayon.
Watch out for the Drew Bledsoe doll that is wearing a Denver Bronco's uniform. However, if you have one --- hold on to it. It'll be good next season.
. . . and anything signed by Terry Glenn, including a contract, is worth a dime.

These came in by e-mail at "Mouth-off at wzlx.com". Here's what some of you listeners think we should give Terry Glenn instead of a Superbowl ring.

His very own headset for his new job at the drive-through at McDonald's
A chance to start over in the European Football League.
A gumbo enema
A new crack pipe. The one hanging from his mouth right now must be getting old.
Let him guest star on the show, "Just Shoot Me", but only if "Just Shoot Me" is one of those reality-based shows and they really shoot the guest stars in the head with a high-powered rifle.

Pro-rating the Sox

They are talking about raising Red Sox ticket prices by 12 to 15 percent, which is fine by me, as long as they pro-rate the ticket prices on the other end:

They need to cut the prices in half in August once the Sox are out of the Pennant race.
One-third off on games where Manny doesn't play because he has a boo-boo.
Two-thirds off on games where Nomar doesn't play because Mia Hamm is in town.
. . . and for all games Pedro misses because he got homesick and went back to the Dominican, you can pay in Pesos.

Michael Jackson's latest plastic surgery.

Follow the link below to see some glamorous stars without make-up.

Attention wiggers: do you want to rap like Eminem?

Click here.

Any text you enter will be translated into authentic 'street' lingo, iye?
Will the real Slim Shady please shut up? ...Or Rap with M.C. Hawking!

Address your cards and letters to:
Lance Norris, P.O. Box 100 Cohasset, MA 02025
Won't you?

Revisit your favorites from previous Ask a Bitterman.


"Almost Famous" Lance Norris with Cameron Crowe.(left)	"Lance and Charles at Live remote.(right)

"Have you ever wondered how a song makes the play list at a classic rock station?" Click the picture below and see how it's done.

Lance Norris

bitter@wzlx.com
P.O. BOX 110
COHASSET, MA 02025
United States

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